Jokes

sent by Rosyam... Teacher: History is a very interesting subject. It tells you about what had happened in the past. Student: Please teacher, I don't think I want to study history. Teacher: Why? Student: There is no future in it. ........... ......... Teacher: Ted, if your father has $10 and you ask him for $6, how much would your father still have? Ted: $10. Teacher: You don't know maths. Ted: You don't know my father! ............ ........ Mother: David, come here. David: Yes, mum? Mother: You really disappoint me. Your results are getting worse. David: But I will only get my report book tomorrow. Mother: I know that. But I am going to Hong Kong tomorrow, so I am scolding you now. ............ ........ Father: Why did you fail your mathematics test? Son: On Monday, teacher said 3+5=8 Father : So? Son: On Tuesday, she said 4+4=8 And on Wednesday, she said 6+2=8. If she can't make up her mind, how do I know the right answer? ............ ......... . A mother and son were doing dishes while the father and daughter were watching TV in the living room. Suddenly, there was a loud crash of breaking plates, then complete silence. The daughter turned to look at her father. Daughter: It's mummy! Father: How do you know? Daughter: She didn't say anything. ........... Man: How old is your father? Boy: As old as me Man: How can that be? Boy: He became a father only when I was born ----------- Waiter: I've stewed liver, boiled tongue and frog's leg. Customer: Don't tell me your problems. Give me the menu card. ------------ Teacher: Simon, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as your brother's. Did u copy his? Simon: No, teacher, it's the same dog! ------------ - Father: Your teacher says she finds it impossible to teach you anything! Son: That's why I say she's no good! ------------ -- Teacher: "Where were u born?" Student: " Singapore , Sir." Teacher: "Which part?" Student: "All of me, Sir." ------------ --------- A teacher was asking her class: "What is the difference between 'unlawful' and 'illegal'?" Only one hand shot up. "Ok, answer, Joan" said the teacher. "'unlawful' is when u do something the law doesn't allow and 'illegal' is a sick eagle." ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --- Teacher: "How come you do not comb your hair?" Ah Kow: "No comb, Sir." Teacher: "Use your dad's then." Ah Kow: "No hair, Sir." ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- ---- A boy came home from school with his exam results. "What did u get?" asked his father. "My marks are under water," said the boy. "What do u mean 'under water'?" "They are all below 'C' level"