Wednesday, April 29, 2009

And that's when the fight started....

My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was flipping channels. She asked, 'What's on TV?' I said, 'Dust.'
And that's when the fight started....
My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary. She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3 seconds.' I bought her a scale. And that's when the fight started....
When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her some place expensive... So, I took her to a gas station. And that's when the fight started....
After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's license to verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home. I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later. The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'. So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair. She said, 'That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me' and she processed my Social Security application. When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social Security office.
She said, 'You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten disability, too.'
And that's when the fight started....
My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion. I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table. My wife asked, 'Do you know her?' 'Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my old girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since.' 'My God!' says my wife, 'Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?'
And that's when the fight started....
I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my order first. "I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please." He said, "Aren't you worried about the mad cow?"
"Nah, she can order for herself." And that's when the fight started....
A woman is standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror. She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband, 'I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.'
The husband replies, 'Your eyesight's damn near perfect.'
And that's when the fight started....
I tried to talk my wife into buying a case of Miller Light for $14.95. Instead, she bought a jar of cold cream for $7.95.
I told her the beer would make her look better at night than the cold cream.
And that's when the fight started....
My wife asked me if a certain dress made her butt look big. I told her not as much as the dress she wore yesterday.
And that's when the fight started....
A man and a woman were asleep like two innocent babies. Suddenly, at 3 o'clock in the morning, a loud noise came from outside. The woman, bewildered, jumped up from the bed and yelled at the man 'Holy crap! That must be my husband!' So the man jumped out of the bed; scared and naked jumped out the window. He smashed himself on the ground, ran through a thorn bush and to his car as fast as he could go.
A few minutes later he returned and went up to the bedroom and screamed at the woman, 'I AM your husband!' The woman yelled back, 'Yeah, then why were you running?' And that's when the fight started....
Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my lunch, grabbed the dog, and slipped quietly into the garage. I hooked up the boat up to the truck, and proceeded to back out into a torrential downpour. The wind was blowing 50mph, so I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather would be bad all day. I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed. I cuddled up to my wife's back, now with a different anticipation, and whispered, 'The weather out there is terrible.'
My loving wife of 10 years replied, 'Can you believe my stupid husband is out fishing in that?' And that's when the fight started....
I asked my wife, "Where do you want to go for our anniversary?" It warmed my heart to see her face melt in sweet appreciation. "Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said. So I suggested, "How about the kitchen?" And that's when the fight started....
My wife and I are watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we were in bed.I turned to her and said, "Do you want to have sex?” "No," she answered. I then said, "Is that your final answer?" She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying "Yes."
So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend." And that's when the fight started....

AQSA.

TQ to Adzimi for sharing

//Webmod Posted by W. A. Amir Zal on Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Seawal 20 Ogos 1929 lagi, sekumpulan Yahudi ekstremis dari kumpulan Kachaneh (Kach) telah menyerbu masuk ke dalam kawasan Masjid al-Aqsa untuk menguasai tembok Buraq untuk ditukarkan menjadi "Kotet" (tembok meratap). Nasib baiklah kaum Muslimin yang pada waktu itu masih merupakan penduduk majoriti kota tersebut berjaya mematahkan tindakan tersebut dan sekali gus Berjaya mempertahankan masjid tersebut. Walau bagaimanapun harga yang terpaksa dibayar amat mahal. Pengganas Yahudi Kach yang dibantu oleh tentera British dari segi persenjataannya telah membunuh lebih kurang 338 rakyat Palestin dalam tempoh 15 hari. Kegagalan percubaan pertama itu tidak berakhir begitu sahaja. Selepas penubuhan negara Israel dengan restu League of Nations pada 14 Mei 1948, Zionis membuat persiapan yang lebih rapi untuk menawan kota tersebut.

Mufti Al-Aqsa, Sheikh Ikarama Sabri baru-baru ini mendedahkan bahawa masjid yang dimuliakan Allah s.w.t, Masjid Al- Aqsa di Baitulmaqdis mengalami kesan retak yang serius akibat kegiatan mengorek lubang di bawahnya oleh kumpulan Yahudi. Ikarama dipetik sebagai berkata oleh televisyen Al-Jazeera, keretakan paling jelas kelihatan pada tembok penanda garisan sempadan kawasan Haram al-Sharif, iaitu meliputi banyak tempat di Masjid Al-Aqsa dan Bandar Lama yang melingkunginya sejak diceroboh rejim Zionis. `Kesan keretakan besar dapat dilihat pada tembok terbabit kerana kerja-kerja mengorek dilakukan rejim Yahudi bertambah agresif sejak tahun 1967,” (iaitu setelah kekalahan negara-negara Arab kepada negara rejim Zionis pada peperangan Jun 1967 atau dikenali sebagai perang Enam Hari telah membuka ruang baru bagi rejim tersebut) kata mufti itu.

Menurut ramai dari kalangan kaum Yahudi, peperangan tersebut merupakan mukjizat bagi kaum Yahudi dan menunjukkan bahawa tuhan Yahweh sentiasa membantu mereka untuk membina kembali Haykal. Natijah daripada peperangan tersebut, tentera-tentera Zionis telah menyerbu masuk ke dalam Masjid al-Aqsa dan seterusnya menawan tembok Buraq dan ditukar menjadi Kotel. Semenjak tarikh tersebut sehingga kini tembok tersebut telah menjadi milik rejim Zionis, Masjid al-Aqsa terletak di bawah kekuasaan mereka dan sentiasa terdedah kepada bahaya. Yang lebih penting lagi, kota al-Quds selepas peristiwa tersebut telah mula mengalami proses pengYahudian.

Selepas sahaja Yahudi menduduki Quds Timur, mereka bertindak memusnahkan kawasan di sebelah barat yang bertentangan dengan tembok Masjid Al-Aqsa (Tembok Buraq atau Yahudi memanggilnya sebagai Tembok Ratapan). Ia merupakan satu kawasan yang mengandungi 135 buah rumah dan dua masjid. Mereka meratakan tanah di situ supaya menjadi satu kawasan lapang yang digunakan Yahudi untuk melakukan ibadat sekalipun tempat itu adalah tanah wakaf kepunyaan Islam. Yahudi mula berkempen secara fanatik untuk mengorek kawasan bawah tanah Masjid Al-Aqsa serta persekitarannya.

``Mereka menumpukan kawasan di sebelah barat dan selatan masjid untuk mencari sebarang bukti menyokong kewujudan Haykal. Tetapi sebaliknya mereka mendapati kesan peninggalan Islam yang jelas membuktikan kewujudan identiti Islam di situ. Mereka musnahkan bukti menyokong Islam tetapi meneruskan kerja-kerja keji itu.”

Monday, April 27, 2009

DON'T BE THE NEXT....

A Swiss woman has lost her job after her employers spotted she was using the Facebook website when she had claimed to be too ill to use a computer.

The unnamed woman was suffering a migraine and had told her employer, Nationale Suisse, she needed to lie in a darkened room.

The company said its discovery that she was also using Facebook destroyed its trust in her and prompted her sacking.

But the woman told a Swiss newspaper she was innocent.

The woman, who is from Basle, said she had been accessing the internet on her iPhone while in bed.

She said she did not believe the company's assertion that a colleague had inadvertently noticed her using Facebook, accusing it instead of spying on her.

She said the company had created a fictitious Facebook persona which become "friends" with her, allowing the company to monitor her online activity.

Her suspicions were raised when the "friend" suddenly disappeared after she was fired, the woman told 20 Minuten daily.

But the company says it followed a simple logic: that those who are well enough to use Facebook with a migraine are well enough to work with a migraine.

It is not the first time Facebook has been involved in a workplace controversy. Some companies have banned it altogether, while others have fired employees over statements they make about work while online.

HARAPAN PADAMU SUBUR KEMBALI

Wahai Tuhan ku yang Esa Bila kenangkan QaharMu Rasa gerun di hatiku Kerana takutkan seksaMu HambaMu rasa putus asa Siapakah dapat bersihkan diri Dari segala dosa yang memburu Setiap hari setiap ketika Tika mengenang GhafarMu Putus asa tiada lagi Semangatku pulih kembali Harapanku subur kembali Ujian menimpa menekan di jiwa Tak sanggup meneruskan perjuanganku MehnahMu itu penghapus dosaku Mengganti hukumanMu di akhirat Di waktu mengenang rahmatMu Terasa diri kurang bersyukur PadaMu harusku memohon Moga syukurku bertambah Alangkah susahnya Mendidik nafsuku Yang tidak dapat melihat kebenaranMu Bantulah hambaMu Dalam mendidik jiwaku ini
now listening to Memoir The Zikr, Nazrey Johani.

Sunday, April 26, 2009

ZAMANG DULU-DULU

3 jejaka tampan ketika di UK

IKLAN JAWATAN KOSONG SURUHANJAYA PERKHIDMATAN NEGERI TERENGGANU

TQ to Kak Yani for the info...

//webmod

Dengan segala hormatnya merujuk kepada perkara tersebut di atas.

Sukacita dimaklumkan bahawa pihak Suruhanjaya Perkhidmatan Negeri Terengganu mempelawa rakyat Negeri Terengganu yang berkelayakan untuk mengisi kekosongan jawatan-jawatan berikut:

1. Pegawai Teknologi Maklumat Gred F41
2. Penolong Pegawai Teknologi Maklumat Gred F29
3. Penolong Pegawai Veterinar Gred G27
4. Penolong Pegawai Pertanian Gred G27
5. Pembantu Perikanan Gred G17

Kepada yang berminat bolehlah mengisi borang permohonan secara online dengan melayari laman web http://spn.terengganu.gov.my.

Tarikh tutup permohonan ialah pada 10 Mei 2009.

CONGRATS HADLYNOOR

Thursday, April 23, 2009

MENCARI NAMA ANAK

Since korang keluar idea macam2 untuk nama anak sahak, lets try for Salha lak. Ni status kat muka buku dia..

"thinking of a nice and meaningful name. starts with E... F... any suggestion my Dear friends?"

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

505 Irniza...

BAIK PUNYA CILOK

cilok dari muka buku nurina

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

FANTASY POINTS

YAHOO Fantasy Points
1 Chikungunya CF 2,439.50
2 YouMustBeatLiverpool1st 2,336.50
3 PakLahKuatTido 2,254.50
4 Kera Jadian (KJ) FC 2,223.00
5 {KBM} Geng Cakcibor Eleven FC 2,205.50
6 Raub FC 2,164.50
7 FC J'en ai marre 2,162.50
8 naz united 2,069.50
9 Korok FC 2,037.00
10 Rempit F.C 1,892.00
11 intertina 1,831.50
12 Lupikirlasendili 1,767.00
13 P11 FC 1,615.00
14 FC Geroda 1,576.00
15 Neu 1,307.00



PREMIERLEAGUE Fantasy Points
= 1 intertina talib sabri 57 1598
= 2 Geng Cakcibor Eleven Cakcibor Eleven 61 1574
= 3 Cap Ayam Noor Hisham Muhamat 51 1558
= 4 Paklah Bapa Mertuaku Bambang Pamungkas 52 1507
= 5 2ndBestAintThatBad Ahmad Harris Khaidzir 41 1486
= 6 OneTeamToRuleThemAll Ahmad Harris Khaidzir 40 1485
= 7 rejected by turtle Hadly Muhd 26 1413
= 8 redridinghood Muhammad Redha Md Hatta 35 1153
= 9 neu Ihsan Hasbullah 46 1148

Monday, April 13, 2009

ALLAH's Pharmacy! Amazing!

- A sliced Carrot looks like the human eye. The pupil, iris and radiating lines look just like the human eye... and YES, science now shows carrots greatly enhance blood flow to and function of the eyes.

- A Tomato has four chambers and is red. The heart has four chambers and is red. All o f the research shows tomatoes are loaded with lycopine and are indeed pure heart and blood food.

- Grapes hang in a cluster that has the shape of the heart. Each grape looks like a blood cell and all of the research today shows grapes are also profound heart and blood vitalizing food.

- A Walnut looks like a little brain, a left and right hemisphere, upper cerebrums and lower cerebellums. Even the wrinkles or folds on the nut are just like the neo-cortex. We now know walnuts help develop more than three (3) dozen neuron-transmitters for brain function.

- Kidney Beans actually heal and help maintain kidney function and yes, they look exactly like the human kidneys.

- Celery, Bok Choy, Rhubarb and many more look just like bones. These foods specifically target bone strength. Bones are 23% sodium and these foods are 23% sodium. If you don't have enough sodium in your diet, the body pulls it from the bones, thus making them weak. These foods replenish the skeletal needs of the body.

- Avocadoes, Eggplant and Pears target the health and function of the womb and cervix of the female - they look just like these organs. Today's research shows that when a woman eats one avocado a week, it balances hormones, sheds unwanted birth weight, and prevents cervical cancers. And how profound is this? It takes exactly nine (9) months to grow an avocado from blossom to ripened fruit. There are over 14,000 photolytic chemical constituents of nutrition in each one of these foods (modern science has only studied and named about 141 of them).

- Figs are full of seeds and hang in twos when they grow. Figs increase the mobility of male sperm and increase the numbers of Sperm as well to overcome male sterility.

- Sweet Potatoes look like the pancreas and actually balance the glycemic index of diabetics.

- Olives assist the health and function of the ovaries

- Oranges, Grapefruits, and other Citrus fruits look just like the mammary glands of the female and actually assist the health of the breasts and the movement of lymph in and out of the breasts.

- Onions look like the body's cells. Today's research shows onions help clear waste materials from all of the body cells. They even produce tears which wash the epithelial layers of the eyes. A working companion, Garlic, also helps eliminate waste materials and dangerous free radicals from the body.

Saturday, April 11, 2009

DJ rates JM Bariani

" We ordered Nasi Beriani Kambing and Nasi Beriani Daging with extra lauk of Ayam Masak Merah. and also the famous Air Bandung. The taste was of the beriani was good compared to other places that i have eaten......."

deejay on JM Bariani, Subang Jaya.
read more [here]

Update Sket

Aku tukar comment setting from full page to pop-up window. Kalau korang tak dapat nak view pop-out window tu, do the following.

1. click kat piranha bite marks
2. biasanya kat atas page browser korang akan keluar message on pop-out.
3. Click allow for this session ATAU allow for site taiping9495.blogspot.com
4. Acu cuba try test click butang piranha bite marks tu lagi sekali.

Aku akan tambah links kat tepi. So kalau ada sesapa yg berminat nak tambah link, please let me know. Cas? kosong rengget, kosong persen bunga. pree of cas.

Ta, cheriooo....

Friday, April 10, 2009

FROM MY MAILBOX

Just want to share from my mailbox.

At the age of 97 years and 4 months, Shigeaki Hinohara is one of the world's longest-serving physicians and educators. Hinohara's magic touch is legendary: Since 1941 he has been healing patients at St. Luke's International Hospital in Tokyo and teaching at St. Luke's College of Nursing. After World War II, he envisioned a world-class hospital and college springing from the ruins of Tokyo; thanks to his pioneering spirit and business savvy, the doctor turned these institutions into the nation's top medical facility and nursing school. Today he serves as chairman of the board of trustees at both organizations. Always willing to try new things, he has published around 150 books since his 75th birthday, including one "Living Long, Living Good" that has sold more than 1.2 million copies. As the founder of the New Elderly Movement, Hinohara encourages others to live a long and happy life, a quest in which no role model is better than the doctor himself.

Doctor Shigeaki Hinohara JUDIT KAWAGUCHI PHOTO

Energy comes from feeling good, not from eating well or sleeping a lot. We all remember how as children, when we were having fun, we often forgot to eat or sleep. I believe that we can keep that attitude as adults, too. It's best not to tire the body with too many rules such as lunchtime and bedtime.

All people who live long regardless of nationality, race or gender share one thing in common: None are overweight... For breakfast I drink coffee, a glass of milk and some orange juice with a tablespoon of olive oil in it.

Olive oil is great for the arteries and keeps my skin healthy. Lunch is milk and a few cookies, or nothing when I am too busy to eat. I never get hungry because I focus on my work.. Dinner is veggies, a bit of fish and rice, and,twice a week, 100 grams of lean meat..

Always plan ahead. My schedule book is already full until 2014, with lectures and my usual hospital work. In 2016 I'll have some fun, though: I plan to attend the Tokyo Olympics! There is no need to ever retire, but if one must, it should be a lot later than 65. The current retirement age was set at 65 half a century ago, when the average life-expectancy in Japan was 68 years and only 125 Japanese were over 100 years old. Today, Japanese women live to be around 86 and men 80, and we have 36,000 centenarians in our country. In 20 years we will have about 50,000 people over the age of 100...

Share what you know. I give 150 lectures a year, some for 100 elementary-school children, others for 4,500 business people. I usually speak for 60 to 90 minutes, standing, to stay strong.

When a doctor recommends you take a test or have some surgery, ask whether the doctor would suggest that his or her spouse or children go through such a procedure. Contrary to popular belief, doctors can't cure everyone. So why cause unnecessary pain with surgery I think music and animal therapy can help more than most doctors imagine.

To stay healthy, always take the stairs and carry your own stuff. I take two stairs at a time, to get my muscles moving.

My inspiration is Robert Browning's poem "Abt Vogler." My father used to read it to me. It encourages us to make big art, not small scribbles. It says to try to draw a circle so huge that there is no way we can finish it while we are alive. All we see is an arch; the rest is beyond our vision but it is there in the distance.

Pain is mysterious, and having fun is the best way to forget it. If a child has a toothache, and you start playing a game together, he or she immediately forgets the pain. Hospitals must cater to the basic need of patients: We all want to have fun. At St. Luke's we have music and animal therapies, and art classes.

Don't be crazy about amassing material things. Remember: You don't know when your number is up, and you can't take it with you to the next place.

Hospitals must be designed and prepared for major disasters, and they must accept every patient who appears at their doors. We designed St.... Luke's so we can operate anywhere: in the basement, in the corridors, in the chapel. Most people thought I was crazy to prepare for a catastrophe, but on March 20, 1995, I was unfortunately proven right when members of the Aum Shinrikyu religious cult launched a terrorist attack in the Tokyo subway. We accepted 740 victims and in two hours figured out that it was sarin gas that had hit them. Sadly we lost one person, but we saved 739 lives.

Science alone can't cure or help people. Science lumps us all together, but illness is individual. Each person is unique, and diseases are connected to their hearts. To know the illness and help people, we need liberal and visual arts, not just medical ones.

Life is filled with incidents. On March 31, 1970, when I was 59 years old, I boarded the Yodogo, a flight from Tokyo to Fukuoka. It was a beautiful sunny morning, and as Mount Fuji came into sight, the plane was hijacked by the Japanese Communist league-Red Army Faction. I spent the next four dayshandcuffed to my seat in 40-degree heat. As a doctor, I looked at it all as an experiment and was amazed at how the body slowed down in a crisis.

Find a role model and aim to achieve even more than they could ever do. My father went to the United States in 1900 to study at DukeUniversity in North Carolina. He was a pioneer and one of my heroes. Later I found a few more life guides, and when I am stuck, I ask myself how they would deal with the problem.

It's wonderful to live long. Until one is 60 years old, it is easy to work for one's family and to achieve one's goals. But in our later years, we should strive to contribute to society. Since the age of 65, I have worked as a volunteer. I still put in 18 hours seven days a week and love every minute of it.

Thursday, April 09, 2009

dot.

NikFa on TV

Spotted our friend on the news yesterday.


[Click here] for the video clip

Tuesday, April 07, 2009

'Apa Ni?'

apa ni?
tanya si kecil
jari menunjuk
mata terkebil-kebil
ekspresi muka ingin tau
menunggu jawapan si tua

si ayah menjawab tenang
si kecil tidak puas
ditanya lagi
apa ni?

tumpuan ayah tertanggu
menonton kotak menyaksi sepak bola ditekan suaranya
garau bunyinya
si anak mendengar teliti

diulang soalan
apa ni?
mencari jawapan hakiki
si tua sudah angin
diguris hati si kecil

si kecil sekadar ingin tahu
hatinya suci bersih
tiada sengketa
walau dimarahi

Thursday, April 02, 2009

mencari NAMA...

Assalamualaikum.. Alhamdulillah Sal selamat lahirkan baby boy ke-2 kami pada 31/3, tepat jam 0000 di Hospital Putrajaya.. (masa baby kuar, aku tengok jam 2349, 30/3.. tapi dah doctor tulis 31/3, ikut je lahh). So sekarang nie kami sedang mencari nama... kalau kengkawan ada nama yg elok, boleh di-recommend-kan. Antara yg sedang dipertimbangkan, Izhan (intelligence), Isyraf (ketinggian, Ashraf??).. boleh tolong confirm-kan maksud dua nama tu? Terima kasih in-advance atas idea-idea yg diberi... -ishak-

Wednesday, April 01, 2009

He did it again

Tumpang lalu ye...

This is how I spent a good 3.5hours at Kenyir Lake, last Sunday.
Look here

..::disclaimer::..
website ni bukan official website mrsm taiping... mau carik official punya, http://www.mrsmkm.edu.my/taiping/. segala isi kandungan dalam blog ni tak mewakili mrsm taiping dan MARA. Untuk cari Ansara Cawangan Taiping, bleh p ke http://www.actorg.net. Kat ACTorg.net, webmaster dia Abg Damit.... website ni utk geng2 mrsm taiping batch 9495 lay-park, borak2, merapu, meroyan, melalak.

jemput tengok dan tengok lagi.. kalau tak puas jugak bleh la tinggal message ka, letak comment ka... mau Lagi??? email la sama wa kat taiping9495 at gmail dot com.

terima kasih kat sapa2 yg tolong website ni secara jualan langsung atau black market....

article yg ada dlm ni adalah hakcipta blog ni kecuali ada dinyatakan dicilok dari sumber2 tertentu... segala komen yg dibuat dalam blog ni takde langsung mewakili blog nih.. komen2 tu adalah hak dan rekacipta org yg tulis komen tu... ada paham? webmaster ada hak utk meng'edit', meng'keluar'kan mana2 post yg dirasakan tidak sesuai